When separating, here are some ways you can help your children.

When you begin to accept your separation, your children will be able to do the same.  It is important that you get on with your life and not dwell in the past or hang onto any anger or bitterness. 

·     Ensure your children know you both still love them and that this will always be the case.

·     Try not to criticise the other parent in front of the children.

·     Be positive about the other parent when talking to your children.

·     Give your children the clear message that it is good for them to have an ongoing relationship with both of you.

·     Let your children know that even though separating is upsetting, you are handling it and expect things to improve.

·     Be aware that children often tell you what they think you want to hear and sometimes what they say should not be taken too literally.

·     Talk to the other parent about your children and their interests.  

·     Give your children time to think about and express their own feelings about the other parent, even if those feelings are not the same as yours.

·     Avoid conflict in front of your children.

·     Keep your children out of your arguments.

·     Do not use your children to give messages to the other parent.

·     Help your children to discuss their feelings about the separation.

·     Reassure children that they are not to blame.